Fear drove me to isolate from the world. Alone, I created a space where my surroundings were as constant, unchallenging, and simple as possible. I wanted the guarantee that my comfort would never be disturbed. 

Within the boundary of my filtering bubble, doubt became the style of reason I used to either believe in something’s potential in regards to the longevity of my comfort, or to pursue the cessation of said thing because I know I’m not apt or able enough to handle the potential disturbance of that thing’s presence. 

And under the weight of fear and the shield of doubt, I succumbed into a dulled countenance; never revealing my joy, pain, excitement, or dread. Shame crept into my sphere, and turned me inwards down a spiral of anguish and loathing. 

But the system worked too well for too long. I had been unable to see outside of myself, my fears, my beliefs, and my wants. Life existed only inside of me, and inside, I felt entitled to comfortable pleasure which distorted my perception of everything that was going on outside of my sphere of comfort. I lived to maintain my comfort, but in reality, it was a free-falling death from self-obsessive entitlement. 

An implosion occurred, beginning with the collapse of my foundational beliefs; my back finally broke from the loaded weight of a corrupt lifestyle. The meager bites no longer appease my appetite to sustain physicality. A star fell out of line within my universe, disrupting the Grand Equilibrium. But it takes an imploding fracture to escape Hell. One misstep was all that was needed to begin the revolution; proof that the system was imperfect and fallible. 

I’m exhausted from restrainment and restless from inactivity. So here I am now, ejected into a new reality that I get to cultivate, define, and dredge through. I carry the strengths, weakness, loves, losses, scars, and enhancements from my prior life into this new reality. 

I once was the master’s most faithful slave. I devoted my life to his wishes and wills. Now I am Satan to my old self.