I need to learn to be understanding and respectful of the development that’s required to advance to the next step in my life. 

In my head, I reason that I know the timing of how my career as a writer will unfold, that because someone else’s career unraveled in a certain way that mine will mimic theirs as well. I reason that because I write I should know exactly what genre I want to commit my craft to and never stray from it to keep in line with the algorithms and such. I reason that I should be exempt from certain obstacles and setbacks because, unlike everyone else, I possess “passion, raw talent, and a burning drive to succeed.” I reason that because I’m not where I want to be right now in my life, it makes me ineligible to stand with high confidence, set forth with determination, or put myself out into the spotlight with boldness. 

But it’s this reason, this “romanticised reason,” that keeps screwing me over with grandiloquent band-aid solutions for my distress of living the same day over and over again for the past year. I’ve read so many philosophical books and texts, watched so many motivational and inspirational videos, listened to so many people’s life stories, and had so many people tell me my life story from their perspective that it all contradicts itself. Everything has had a perfect negation that has resulted in me brooding over time lost and opportunities missed. So if 2025 taught me anything, it taught me that I think too much. I think so much that I forget that reality will never match the perfect storyline imagined in my head. I think so much that there’s always some logical explanation that I can use to validate some prolonged laziness or avoidance. I think so much and yet no new plan of action has ever been truly conceived of. 

So as I begin 2026, I ask myself: “What can my life look like if I forget all the facts and all the rules? What can I make from the tools and circumstances directly in front of me? What happens if I prioritize rational black and white analysis over abstract colorful contemplation? What if I stop asking for permission and start asking for forgiveness?”

If I maintain the intensity and consistency that I’ve shown since starting this blog as well as adopting a more practical and functional approach towards my writing career, in three months I believe I’ll hit the knee of exponential growth and be able to narrow down the potential genres, styles, and intentions I feel best deliver my truest meaning through writing. I believe I’ll also suffer less from the discomfort I feel when I look in the mirror and find difficulty recognizing the person looking back at me. There won’t be such an imbalance between what and who I believe myself to be versus the woman who actually lives day to day from action to action. 

In six months, I will be in a stronger financial position where I’ll be able to live more freely as opposed to surviving in isolation, and in nine months, I will travel to France, Italy, and or Greece. And as the year closes, I’ll be able to say that I had a dream, followed my heart, created a plan, and worked until that dream became a reality for the first time in my life. 

I can only get better, so let the year begin.