Despite the fact that the “where are you from” topic is so popular and driving for the progression of so many conversations, this is one of my least favorite topics to talk about. It drives me crazy how so much is assumed, accentuated, repressed, or denied simply from saying I’m from “__.” The conversation is rarely anything other than a debate of who can name and support/defend as many stereotypes as possible about a given place. The location becomes the reason behind nearly all of their statements and beliefs; “I can’t help that I’m so blunt, I’m from New York”, “I should’ve been from Florence because of how much I love art”, “it’s a Texas thing, you wouldn’t understand” (real dialogue I’ve been in conversation with). 

No harm is done to anyone necessarily, but what I find frustrating is the rigidity of most people’s belief systems when they’re met with counter evidence. Instead of allowing for a truth to exist about someone’s character independent of their hometown/country, I notice that even more stereotypes will be called upon to cancel out the outlying fact. And I’ve also noticed a trend where if the same generalizing lens is cast back upon the instigator, the conversation then turns defensive as they soliloquize all of the reasons why they break the mold. These conversations are used at times to perfect divisions between people. Rather than conversing to learn or understand, conversations are used to assert positions of truth and fact. But the problem arises immediately when there’s now a situation where two or more contradicting statements are true and fact, thus a new debate round commences. 

Now, I’m not denying that regions, countries, or culture play major roles in creating the foundations of character, in fact I would argue that culture is most influential when molding someone’s beliefs and morals, but what I am denying is the narrow reasoning used to judge someone from said region, country, or culture. There are often so many presumptions and theories believed with such force that it blocks and repels most of what is said while honing in on the parts and pieces that match any preconceived beliefs. It’s rare to find someone who will inquire for the sole sake of broadening their understanding of a subject rather than trying to manipulate that person’s lived experiences to fit their illiberal version of reality. 

But not too long ago, I was asked a different variation: “what is your favorite thing about being from the South?” I answered that it wasn’t the South that I was most proud to be from, but the family that I come from. I can’t speak much about the family I never had a chance to meet, nor can I speak on behalf of the entire South, but the family that raised me – my grandparents, uncle, my mom, and my brother – instilled some of the strongest and best traits anyone could hope for. From each, I learned crucial advice that’s created the character that I’m now regularly complimented on today. And yes, the conditions of Southern culture had many effects on each of them as well as myself, but it is my family that has supported and sacrificed to give me the life that I have today and to them I give credit.

From my Grandfather: Since a child, you have always been more to me than just my grandfather. In many more ways than one, you have also been my father-figure. Without you and your guidance, I would have never seen the impact a man has when he is true to himself and faithful to those he loves. Your word is priceless and I esteem it the most because I know you have never lied to me. You commit to your word in every sense and setting, and your beliefs are sound and solid without variance. Inside to out, you are who you are; it’s rare to find someone as true as you, and so I am ever more grateful that I’ve experienced such directness. And because of your reverence for God and religion, I have never strayed far from the path. Even in times of questioning and doubt, you’ve always managed to remind me to never forget our Father and Mother. 

From my Grandmother: As beautiful and delicate as a rose’s petal, and as defensive and intimidating as its stem, you have taught me what it looks like to be a woman of dignity. To lead with beauty and grace, to speak with clarity and assurance, and to protect with and for love. You are the definitive Matriarch. From you, an ocean of love radiates from your heart that has cared and carried us all with consistency and unconditionality. Nothing has ever harmed or hindered me to a degree that your love hasn’t been able to set free. 

From my Mother: From you I’ve learned that there is no such thing as a limit to one’s dreams and aspirations. If a hurdle arises, develop/enhance the skill needed to clear it. Through grit, determination, and a sacrifice of yourself, you provided everything your kids could have ever needed and or wanted. You have an unparalleled power to turn any little piece of something into a unique magnitude of brilliance and awe. And from this power, you inspired me to develop skills so that I too can create unconventionally influential art as you have throughout your career. To dream and work towards new meanings and standards is the song you’ve always sung, and my biggest dream in life is to give you what you gave to me: the right to Joy. I couldn’t imagine being born to anyone else.  

From my Uncle: Whereas my grandfather taught me the value of wisdom through piety, you taught me the value of wisdom through activity. From you I’ve learned that chances come along for us to act on them, and also knowing how and when to shift lanes accordingly to arrive at the goal. To be knowledgeable is a start, but to be intent and bold with its truth is what brings about change. The door only locks when we stop searching for a way out, and there is little else that we find more distasteful than stale, flaccid monotony. 

From my Brother: You work hard to have what you want free of anyone or anything that could take it all away, and I see few higher merits than that of true success. The standard ways towards stability and success weren’t always an option for you, but with raw and practical fluidity you’ve created a life that is unmistakably yours. So from you, I’ve come to truly believe that we only stay down if and when we stop fighting to stand back up again. 

But if a short answer is in fact needed, I’ll answer that my favorite aspect about being from the South is our emphasis on our roots and duty to our families

…and our sweet tea.