Please don’t give up on me. I never give up on myself. I keep going back. Why do I keep going back? Why can’t I go forward? Reach the next step? Why can’t I sit still? I feel like I’m running out of chances to get it right. The stakes are high it feels. I need to do something quick to set my life in motion. But I feel so safe and happy when I’m like this. I need to find You in a new way, on different terms. I feel the weight of my choices. Please, teach me how to meet You in ways that are true, honest, and beautiful. I don’t want to do this anymore.